Funny Captions & Quotes are most searched one’s in Google, as the Social Networking sites are connecting more People around the world. Making the Profile more interesting can bring in more followers and get more exposure any Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok. And Preferably More Insta users are looking for Funny Instagram Captions to add to their Profile.
To make easy for Insta fans, we have collected a lot of Funny Instagram Captions & Quotes to quickly choose & add to their Profiles online.
101 Funny Instagram Captions & Quotes for Insta Profile
They say don’t try this at home… so I went to my friend’s home!
I may look calm, but in my mind, I have killed you three times.
My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat.
I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitos find me attractive!
If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
They say: Do what you love and the money will come to you. Just ordered pizza, now I am waiting…
Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
“Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.”
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in far neighbour.
Run like you stole something.
Don’t know where the kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they’ll show up quickly.
Funny how just when you think life can’t get any worse, it suddenly does.
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing “k” instead of “ok”?
That awkward moment when you see twins fighting and one of them calls the other ugly.
For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
A cop pulled me over and told me “Papers”, so I said “Scissors, I win!” and drove off.
Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity!
I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. Yet… I wouldn’t call them lies!
Don’t give up on your dreams. keep sleeping.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you
Best friends. Because anyone else heard our conversations we’d end up in the mental hospital.
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside.
The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe eat cake.
Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just fruits.
I made a huge list for today. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
Please God, if you can’t make me thin, make my friends fat.
During the day I didn’t believe in ghosts. At night I become a bit more open-minded.
Don’t let anyone rent a space in your head unless they’re a good tenant.
The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.
In bed, it’s 6 AM. You close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:30. At work, it’s 2:30 PM. You close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 2:31 PM.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
With great power comes great electricity bills!
I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong
My teacher pointed to me with his ruler and said: “At the end of this ruler there is an idiot!”…”I got detention after asking which end!
I can’t clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find!
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it!
That annoying moment when you finally get comfortable in bed, but then BAM, you have to pee.
I stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.
I am actually quite a nice person. Until you piss me off!
Don’t study me, you won’t graduate.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot todo.
When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance.
I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new style of hair every morning!
Brains are awesome. I wish everybody would have one!
It’s bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation
Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.
Age only matters if you’re a cheese.
You either live real life or on Instagram.
I’m old enough to know better. But young enough to do it anyway.
I need summer twice a year, 6 months long!
“Are you free tomorrow” “No, I am expensive!”
Life isn’t perfect, but your outfit can be.
When in doubt dance it out.
Many have a picture of me, few get a picture.
Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.
This tequila tastes like I am not going to work tomorrow.
My excuse is that I’m young
I’m Day Dreamer & Night thinker
I need a six month holiday, twice a year
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me
If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption
Dear vegetarians, if you’re trying to save animals, then why are you eating their food?
Changed all my passwords to incorrect, then every time I forget my password, it says “your password is incorrect”
You lost your phone and it’s on silent? Too bad, if you liked it, you should have put a ring on it
You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, “Do a flip!”
Funny Instagram Captions about Work:
- Stay strong, the weekend is coming.
- I’m not lazy. I am on energy saving mode.
- Better days are coming. They are called: Saturday and Sunday.
- On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like Monday does on Earth.
- Weekend, please don’t leave me.
Funny Insta Captions for Couples:
- I want a relationship like “Tom & Jerry” fight daily, still can’t live without each other.
- When I miss you I re-read our old conversations and smile like an idiot.
- When I miss you it seems every song I listen to is about you.